Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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