What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
