I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
