Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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