ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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