You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
