Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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