This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The adults are the big ones right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
