Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
