You're my little dorito
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
