Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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