Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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