don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
