I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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