I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize