Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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