she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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