the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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