I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
