I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're like the curious george of whores
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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