I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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