Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
