DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
