Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
