Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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