you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize