oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
