so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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