So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you traded sex for a burrito?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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