your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we're making bets on your personal life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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