So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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