your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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