he was CRYING into my vagina
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
