he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize