i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
