she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
