Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize