I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
