I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
