how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
