Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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