I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
