What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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