You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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