Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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