i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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