if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
