On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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