she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
