Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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