i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize