No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
