i jhust puked up my retainher.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
