Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
