I just cut my nipple shaving
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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