Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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