you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
