he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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