Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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