Your face is a jimmy john
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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