I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
