i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
