just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
