He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't turn off my feet"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
