never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize