I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
