the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
