That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
