I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
