All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize