I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
