i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
