I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
