whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's just like the Real World with babies
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
