butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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