No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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