Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
